8 Signs You Are More Than Likely Dating a Narcissist

Narcissists seem to be everywhere – in the media, the workplace and they even lurk amongst your friends and family. So, how do you know if you are dating a narcissist? Narcissists will use a variety of manipulation tactics when they are interested in someone romantically. Their goal is to secure their supply (you) and to then wear you down mentally, to the point where they have full control over you.

There are many traits and behaviours which will give the narcissist away. It’s important to be aware of them, so you can recognise this toxic behaviour and get out as soon as possible.

Disclaimer: Please note, I am not a mental health professional. Everything that I mention in this post, is based off my personal experience/s and years of my own research. It should not be considered as medical advice or a substitute for therapy. 

A narcissist will almost always love bomb you in the early stages of dating. They will bombard you with messages and/or calls, to the point of making you uncomfortable.

They will tell you how amazing you are and how they have never connected with anyone else like this before.

They will compliment you on your looks, and your personality. They will try to mirror your interests to make it seem like you would be the perfect match!

They may buy you extravagant gifts, and take you to expensive restaurants.

They will say they want long-term commitment and will try to get you to commit to them, before you even know them.

Within a matter of days, or a maybe week or two, they will proclaim they are falling for you.

They do all these things to lure you in and make you fall for them, so they can control you. The sooner you fall for them, the better.

Once they have secured their supply, their true nature will slowly start to emerge.

Narcissists think they are the centre of the universe – which is somewhat true, in their eyes anyway. They fail to see beyond themselves, because everything is about them.

Narcissists expect people to cater to their every whim and they will expect special treatment, wherever they go.

They will talk down to others and they will be arrogant and haughty. They will seem uninterested in what other people have to say, unless it’s about them!

They believe they are above everyone else and that they are better than everyone else.

They think they are the best looking person in the room, the most intelligent human to ever exist and that they are the best at their job.

Most narcissists will be controlling and possessive of you. They don’t want you (their supply) slipping out of their grasp anytime soon.

They will start slowly by asking what you did that day. They will then step it up a notch, asking who you are hanging out with, and who keeps messaging you.

They may even monitor your social media and stalk all your friends. It will then progress to full blown interrogations, accusations and jealous rages.

Narcissists will try to stop you from having a social life and they will sabotage any attempts you make at being independent from them.

They will attempt to destroy your friendships and will try to turn you against your own family.

Narcissists want to be the only person in your life.

They need you to rely on them 100%, so that they have full power over you.

Narcissists love nothing more than a good old guilt-trip!

If you attempt to enforce boundaries with them or challenge them in any way, they will say “after all I have done for you, this is how you treat me?”

They will probably also say, “you never really cared about me!” or that you’re taking advantage of them in some way. Anything to make you feel bad.

They will claim that nobody cares about them and that the whole world is against them. They may even shed a few (very fake) tears. They love a good old pity party!

If you try to break up with them, they will say things like, “nobody will ever love you, the way that I do.”

They will promise to change, but they never do.

If the guilt-trips and manipulations don’t work (in their minds) they are out of options, and will usually fly into a narcissistic rage.

They will scream obscenities at you, throw things and slam doors – basically an adult-sized temper tantrum.

A raging narcissist, is very scary narcissist. Some may even physically hurt you.

Narcissists are highly critical individuals and they will find fault in everything you do. They will tell you how to do the most basic things, and treat you like you’re an idiot.

They may tell you that you should change your hairstyle or dress differently.

Their goal is to make you self-conscious, so you lose your confidence.

Over time, you will start to doubt your own competence, as they have grilled into you that you are not able to do anything without their help and ‘approval’.

Narcissists are inconsistent with how they treat you and how they communicate with you. One minute they are love bombing you, the next they will ignore your texts and calls for hours.

They do this to keep you guessing, and to keep you hooked! Learn more about how you can become addicted to the narcissist.

They love it when you message them asking why they haven’t responded to you, as it feeds their ego.

Then they get to gaslight you saying, “you’re reading into things too much” or “you’re being paranoid” or “too needy.”

If you start to distance yourself from them, they will switch up the game and start chasing you again. Until you get a little too comfortable and they’ll start ignoring you again.

You will never know where you stand with a narcissist.

They will blatantly deny things that have happened in the past, because they really love to mess with your head and make you question your reality (and your sanity).

They will say, “That never happened! You must be imagining it.” They will try to convince you that your memory is faulty, that you’re crazy, and that you are the one gaslighting them!

If you present them with physical proof of the event in question, they will become dismissive and/or angry and abusive.

They do not like to be questioned or challenged, in any way.

Narcissists live in a fantasy world, of their own creation. The things they have done that hurt us, do not belong in ‘their world’, because in their world, they are perfect!

Narcissists do not take responsibility for things they have done. They will always put things back on you, and make out everything is your fault.

They don’t apologise, either. The most you will get is, “I’m sorry if you feel that way.”

Trying to get through to a narcissist is an absolute waste of your time and energy. You will just go around, and around in circles with them.

Narcissists are incapable of self-reflection and their fragile egos cannot withstand any kind of criticism.

They would rather die than admit their faults and work on their issues.

Dating a narcissist can be an incredibly traumatising experience and the damage they can do to your mental health, is very serious. Knowing the warning signs in advance, can save you a lot of pain.

If you think you may be dating a narcissist, get out as soon as you can! You absolutely need to cut all contact with them.

Block them on all social media, change your number and your email.

Narcissists will always be watching and waiting for the chance to work their way back into your life.

Do not (under any circumstances) allow them to manipulate you and lure you back with false promises.

Because one thing is certain – they will never, ever change!

Do you have other narcissists in your life?

Check out: 15 Signs Your Friend is a Narcissist and 9 Warning Signs of a Narcissistic Boss

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